Pack Ice
Revision #1: I will go to the pack ice and when others return I will stay behind. I carry my long knife, tar black strips of fluke meat and boots sewn by my wife. But I have no hunger, no thirst for...
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sorry Bernie--gotta take issue with this:I dry my straight hair and expose my chest. This seems aimed (merely) at sorting the reader out:he has straight hair / the sun is out a long time...( like a...
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O---you have a sympathetic ear with me. how would the narrator speak? I grew up hearing these guys speak, since it was my mother's world. No one would say and expose my chest. you heard the public...
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B I have learnt a lot from this poem and the critiquing of it.I am not able to say anything intelligent because there are many nuances here.Thank you.Sivakami
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Sorry Bernie, the lines you quote have more 'verity' than does your poem entire, imv. In my brief look, late. let me look at it more properly, tomorrow afternoon, and let me be editorial , without too...
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Bernie, To me, you got it! Great work and what a learning experience for me--thank you again for your openness! You fixed the 'ice' problem by eliminating the article, you fixed the sound that went...
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Thanks for reading "Asiak." Yes, quite a coincidence. I really like your poem and have been enjoying this thread very much.
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I still don't quite buy the bare-chested part. (which sorta collapses the poem's integrity for me.) Here's why. If the fellow is being left there as one who's being abandoned, then would he really...
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O---your experience with someone like this narrator adds gravity to your comments.Tarzan like. it is a phrase, an image that easily---too easily---suggests johnny weismuller in grade C movies. i ask...
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i ask myself, what would i expose, parade, exhort at such a moment of extremity---a self-imposed death on the ice. Good...(as SB says) And you would think "my chest" Really? I would say, thy vessel is...
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Uh oh, semantical differences. Chimps, gorillas, males at large, pop that chest, give that shout--whether in triumph or despair, it applies. In this case, done in good taste, and I did not feel it was...
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thanks, Poetema. :-) I don't mean to corral (sp?) your comments. Yours are your own, and I think Bernie knows you mean the UPside of Tarzan. I get that, also... I speak for myself, (yet the word is...
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Bernie--your folder is going to go flame-worthy! su-weet.The Waters might need a new icon!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`hmm Bill! thanks for sharing. (since many read.) I often find...
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Billy---alas, no. and not far from me (200 miles) in burbank---where the airport is named for bob hope.could you post a url to a poem from this collection? i know that is sometime difficult, but...
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B Just when I am able to comprehend the whole poem,just when the nuances are becoming bold and clearly identifiable,I am getting confused by these two lines.death heavy snow with no water hiding falls...
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S---yes, not so clear. the poem describes the crevices that open when floating sea ice shatters. blowing snow covers the crevice top a hunter and his dogs might easily fall to their deaths.in the...
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Bernie -- (yes, I realized that--it was a visceral thing. sorry--but it threw me.) I am curious about that "vinegar vial'.. Can you elaborate (for me, I mean). It reads faux to me, in terms of the...
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Toni---wonderful poem. and how extraordinary that we pick a subject so closely related. alas, i don't know the work of Hans Ruesch. will look for something to give me a feel for the novel. Ruesch...
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